First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage... Where The Hell is My Baby Carriage?

Monday, April 11, 2011

EDD 12/13!

So after last week’s debacle of thinking that the treatment had failed (again!) only to find out that hey surprise, it worked here I am nearly 5 weeks pregnant. It is still very surreal. I am excited but I don’t feel any different. I thought I would feel different. Not that I desire to be puking my guts out but I want to FEEL pregnant, especially after all the work we put into making it happen!
My numbers-
                Beta 1 4/5- 100 with 15.9 Progesterone
                Beta 2 4/8/- 466 with 19.6 Progesterone
All in all, good numbers. My next Beta is this Friday 4/15. Then if all is well with that I will get an u/s around 4/27. At the u/s, which will be about week 7, we will get to see if I have 1 bun or 2 and hopefully see the heartbeat(s). I think after SEEING it with my own eyes I might feel for real pregnant.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Never Trust Generic...

Well, I will never trust anything CVS sells again. My home test was wrong. I. AM. PREGNANT.
I am also in shock. OMG.
I need time to process…

Monday, April 4, 2011

Words of Wisdom

If compassion does not include yourself, then it is incomplete- Buddha

Single Line of Doom

Tomorrow is the completely unnecessary blood pregnancy test. It is unnecessary because I already took a test at home yesterday (negative) and today have cramps that tell me AF is imminent. The disappointment is setting in and I am sure when the nurse calls to tell me the obvious tomorrow I will not be in the best of spirits.
This past cycle looked so good on paper that even though I made efforts not to get carried away with optimism, I couldn’t help but think that this could be the cycle. I had 2 great follicles at trigger time, one 22mm (HUGE!) and one 18mm. I did everything right, or so I thought. I can’t help but wonder if major stressors at the office sabotaged my month.
The BFN (big fat negative) always makes me think of all the things that I will miss out on as a mom. In months past it has been that I won’t have a baby to spend the summer with at home, I won’t be a mom in time for my 29th birthday, I won’t have a baby to be thankful for in November and the most recent realization that there will be no baby toys under the Christmas tree. 2011 will remain baby free and that sucks.
At the moment I just want my period to come so I can get started again with the Clomid circus. Maybe we are meant to have a New Year’s baby?


Medication Mondays- Clomid, the "aspirin of infertility"

Clomid, every infertile’s first foray into IF treatment. I saw it described in a book (If at First You Don’t Conceive by Dr. William Schoolcraft) as “the aspirin of the infertility world”. Clomid is an interesting drug in that it can do great things, enough to get you knocked up, if used properly. Unfortunately it is also often misused.
Clomid (clomiphene) is a very common treatment to induce ovulation in women. Basically how it works is it ups the level of FSH (follicle stimulating hormone) so that follicles will grow, grow faster, grow bigger and grow more abundantly. For women who have ovulatory problems, such as PCOS patients, this helps to remedy the problem of not producing mature enough eggs for release and fertilization. In my case, Clomid is followed up by Ovidrel, a “trigger” shot that ensures ovulation occurs.
Clomid is taken for 5 days in any given cycle and is given in increments of 50mgs per dose. I am currently on the lowest dose of 50mgs daily. This can be from cycle day (CD) 3-7 or CD5-9. I typically take it from CD3-7. Following the final dose, there is time for the follicles to grow and then monitoring begins on CD12 and takes place every other day until one or more of the follicles reaches 20mm and is ready to ovulate (naturally or by trigger). Monitoring includes both blood work and ultrasound. Once the follicles are mature, I use the Ovidrel injection to force ovulation and provide a more concrete window for timed intercourse.
Clomid has some lovely side effects that get worse with an increase in dosage. Some of the side effects include: upset stomach, vomiting, hot flashes, breast tenderness, headache, blurred vision, abdominal bloating and pain. Oh, and don’t forget the mood swings!! Those are killer.  So far, on my low dose I have only experiences some of these but it is still not fun at all. Another important side effect to watch out for with your Dr. is thinning of your endometrial lining. After prolonged use of Clomid, your uterine lining may become too thin to sustain a pregnancy which really defeats the purpose of taking Clomid in the first place!
It is very important to be monitored while on Clomid. Unfortunately, many women who are just starting out on the IF path are prescribed Clomid by an OBGYN who does not provide monitoring. Since there are no checks to ensure that it is working properly, naturally the success rate of Clomid when given by an OBGYN is much lower. The danger extends beyond inconvenience however. Clomid can cause Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome or OHSS in the worst case scenario which is a life threatening situation. This is when there are way too many follicles growing and causing the ovary to grow too large. These follicles can burst and can cause internal bleeding into the abdominal cavity.
One final side effect and important reason to be monitored on Clomid- MULTIPLES! “Clomid Twins” has become a common phrase tossed around the offices of REs and OBGYNs these days. It makes sense that there is an increased risk of having twins (8-10%) with Clomid since it increases follicle production. When you are properly monitored however you can be sure that you haven’t overdone it and aren’t releasing 4,5,6,7 etc follicles into your tubes for a shot a life. Most people will still go forward with 2 or 3 because it also increases chances of success but everyone on this treatment must be prepared for the possibility of multiple blessings!
Next Medication Monday- More on Ovidrel,the TRIGGER!